Discernment Weekend

As I write this, we are on our way to Colorado. We are going to 'Discernment Weekend' for MCYM in Colorado Springs. Since it starts Friday and lasts through Monday afternoon, we originally planned for Jeff to go by himself while I stayed home with the kids. We would never have thought of dragging three kids to a whole weekend of adult conversation. As a mom, I know the realities of their limits. We didn't have anyone who could watch them. My staying home was the only logical choice.

As it turned out, though, it was necessary that I come. So here we are, all logic thrown out the window, and on our way. We decided that it would be fun to go early and camp at Rocky Mountain National Park for a few days before we are scheduled to be in Colorado Springs. Of course, when I agreed to this, I didn't know about the black bears that supposedly frequent the campsite! I'm wondering what in the world I've gotten myself into!

As nervous as I am, though, I'm also very excited to witness the beauty of God's creation through little eyes... I know God's plans are always so much bigger than ours, and I'm looking forward to His whispers to all of us this week as we get out of our routine and away from the noise that clutters up our lives, preventing us from hearing all the secrets He wants to share.

Day 1

We left the apartment at about 2pm, after loading gear for at least two hours. The kids are so excited. We drove until about 7pm, where we stopped at McDonald's, somewhere in Oklahoma, to eat dinner. Then we loaded up the van and drove until about midnight, landing in Hays, KS, where we stayed at the Ramada there. Everyone was so tired!

Day 2

Up at 730am. Everyone slept so great. After eating breakfast at the hotel, we re-loaded the van, re-iced the cooler, and were on the road again! We drove to Denver, where we had to stop at Wal-Mart to buy a few items that we'd forgotten to pack for camping. Everyone was crying because they were all hungry (it's getting close to dinner time and we didn't even stop for lunch!), but Jeff is determined to get to the campsite and set up before it rains or gets dark. As we drove into the park, however, we were all distracted by the elk grazing along the roadsides and in the open fields. They were beautiful! The kids were so fascinated!

We arrived at the campsite and started setting up our tent. Hannah and Cael were immediately drawn to the rocks behind our site, which were great for climbing and exploring. As Jeff and I worked, we looked up to find several deer milling around us, looking for food. The kids loved it! After getting our sleeping arrangements settled, we warmed up chili for dinner (Jeff's special recipe that he'd made and frozen before we'd left), topped with chips and cheese, it was perfect as the sun was setting and the temperature was dropping. We sat around the fire for a little while, roasted marshmallows, and then headed to bed, excited about what tomorrow would bring.

Day 3

Everyone was up around 730am. I slept terribly the night before because it was so cold at night, around 42 degrees. Plus, we hadn't been able to get our air mattress blown up and I was so uncomfortable! I am determined to get it inflated before tonight, though! Jeff fixed eggs, sausage, and hash browns on our camp stove, and with coffee and hot chocolate, we were able to warm up a little. After breakfast, we drove to Bear Lake and hiked an easy trail around the lake. It was beautiful.

The kids got hungry, so we left and went back to the campsite for pb&j and chips. Hudson and I laid down for a nap while Jeff, Hannah, and Cael went hiking on the rocks and horse trails directly behind our campsite. Then we roasted hot dogs over the fire with leftover chili... yum! Got cleaned up, made s'mores, and went to bed, all the while listening to the bugling of the elk down in the valley below.

Day 4

I slept so well last night! We got the mattress blown up, and that made all the difference! We did all sleep with hats and double clothing IN our 0 degree, mummy-style sleeping bags to stay warm. Again, the bugling lasted all night long. We loaded up and drove to a picnic area not far away that is right beside a trout stream that runs into Sprague Lake. It was such a beautiful morning with beautiful scenery. We had donuts and muffins with hot chocolate at the picnic area and then took a walk around the lake. The water was so clear that we cold see the trout, bathing in the sun. Jeff was kicking himself for not bringing his fishing gear, but there simply hadn't been room! After our morning walk, we went back to our campsite and packed lunches. Then BACK into the van for a drive over to Bear Lake again. This time, we'd decided to head up the mountain for a 'moderate' hike up to Emerald Lake. This trail winds up the mountain, passes Nymph Lake, up, up, up to Dream Lake, and finally to Emerald Lake. We take off, with Hudson on my chest in the Baby Bjorn, and Jeff and the kiddos each carrying a backpack. We stop at Nymph Lake and eat sandwiches. We just about had to fight the chipmunks off with a stick. At one point, Cael reached down and was able to pet one of them as he just sat there! Of course, afterwards, Cael wanted to pet ALL the animals... elk, deer, chipmunks, squirrels...

After lunch, we started up the mountain, where many of the Aspen trees are just turning yellow. The climb was difficult, especially with Hudson, but we slowly made it! Once we got to Dream Lake, though, we were all blown away by the beauty. I sat down on one of the rocks with Hannah, and we talked about how God made all this beauty for us. Hannah is forever drawing or coloring pictures for me. I told her that it's a lot like that with God. I said, 'You know how you love it when I really brag on your artwork, and tell you what a great job you did? It's like that with God! He wants us to brag on His work, appreciate it, and let Him know how much we love it. We should see this as a gift from Him, just like your pictures are a gift to ME!' And what a gift it was.

As we sat there, admiring the crystal clear water and the green firs and yellow aspens around us, some very dark clouds rolled in, and it started sprinkling. We decided not to continue up to Emerald Lake (I was secretly thankful, as my back was really starting to hurt from the passenger I was carrying!), so we headed back down the mountain. Hudson fell asleep as we were walking, and the kids were so tired when we finished. Jeff thought it would be fun to drive around and see the rest of the park, and maybe let the kids sleep. So we loaded everyone up and started driving up the mountains. Now, I knew that I was afraid of heights, but as we went further and further up, I started to get sick just looking out my window. I was having to shield my eyes from the view! A little further up, and I was having trouble breathing, starting to panic. All I could think when I looked out the window was how easy it would be to go over the side of that mountain! Jeff said I was making HIM nervous, so he decided to try to find a place to turn around. I just wanted out! I didn't even care about getting back down the mountain, I just wanted out! This experience has never happened to me before, and I feel a little silly explaining it now, but I have never been so afraid in all my life! It was crazy! Apparently, my fear of heights has gotten much worse in the last few years! I was so glad when we finally made it down to our campsite where it was safe again! Later, we stopped in Estes Park and got sandwiches, which we took back to our site and ate for dinner. Hudson slept in the tent (finally!) while we made s'mores, and then Jeff took us to the rocks behind our tent and we sat looking at the stars. We talked about how big the sky is, how many stars are out there that we can't even see... And how God made them all. Finally, we read a few chapters of Stuart Little around the campfire, and then went to bed. It had been a very eventful day!

Day 5

We got up early today, packed our gear, and headed to Colorado Springs for MCYM Discernment Weekend. As we drove, Jeff and I commented on how close Hannah and Cael had been over this trip. They've really gotten to be good friends since I'd been home schooling Hannah, but while we were camping, they had so much fun. They liked hiking, but couldn't wait to get back to our campsite to pretend-play. Cael was always Peter Pan, and Hannah would be Wendy, while the massive rocks around us were their pirate ship. It was so great to watch them really enjoy each other! We arrived at 2pm, talked the hotel into allowing us to check in early so we could shower (for the first time in three days!), and then headed to MCYM headquarters for our first meeting. They introduced us to the other candidates (it's a small group of about six or so) plus the MCYM staff, and then Jeff stayed while I took the kids back to the hotel room to wait for him. At dinnertime, we met back at the St Vrain house for yummy enchiladas and then listened to one staff member's experiences. It was very helpful to hear about these experiences, as Jeff and I could identify with many parts of her story... such as not knowing where you're headed, not having any military experience, not being able to make sense of it all, but just knowing you're following God. After evening prayer, we went to the hotel to go to bed.

Day 6

On Saturday, I met two of the MCYM staff's spouses, Liz and Mary, in our hotel lobby with one other candidate's wife, Ashley. We headed to a local coffee shop for coffee and conversation. It was a chance for me, as a spouse, to hear their experiences and advice, as well as a time for Ashley and me to ask questions. It was a very helpful experience, and I was able to get a glimpse of what it looks like to be a wife of an MCYM staff person. During this time, Jeff took Hannah and Cael to a baby sitter's house. I have to admit, I was a little hesitant on this point, since I didn't know the babysitter, and had only briefly met her mother at the MCYM headquarters yesterday. But we needed to attend meetings, and couldn't bring the kids along, so I just prayed that I was doing the right thing. During the morning, we listened to a presentation on MCYM, and then we shared our own experience of how we got to this point. Later we would hear others' experiences. This was great because we could all identify with each other, as well as take encouragement in seeing how God is working in the lives of each other and in this ministry. The 'stories' part of this weekend was probably the most helpful to me, because it was a chance to see that others are in the same position as we are. Afterwards, I picked up the kids, and took them back to the hotel while Jeff attended more meetings. We met for dinner at St Vrain again, and then the MCYM staff did a mock club for us. It was a lot of fun, and I loved that Hannah and Cael got to attend with us. The kids loved that we played games with balloons and marshmallows-awesome! Plus, it was a great opportunity for them to see what it is that Daddy will be doing. When he used to help out with Young Life on Monday nights, they always asked me what 'club' was. So here, they were able to get an idea of what it is. Afterward, we had a discussion about what works for club, helpful resources for activities, and how to piece it all together. Finally, we went back to the hotel for bed.

Day 7

Today we got up early, took all of the kids to the sitter's, and met the other MCYM staff and candidates at St Vrain. From there, we headed to the Air Force Academy to attend Catholic and Protestant services there. After the Protestant service, we were able to chat with Chaplain McClelland, and he was able to share his experiences and a little advice with us. Afterward, we all had lunch before picking up the kiddos at the sitters. By the way, the kids had so much fun they begged to go back. Cael called it, 'the baby office' for some reason. He's a funny kid! We went to the MCYM office for Jeff and I to have a one-on-one talk with two of the MCYM staff. I think it was like an interview for us as well as an interview for them. I really enjoyed getting to talk to Debi (a wife of a retired serviceman), and Christine (who had served for 7 years in Germany as an MCYM staff person). Finally we left to go back to the hotel. We ordered pizza for dinner. Let me just say that taking any trip with a 9-month-old baby is exhausting! I felt like I could never put him down! While we were camping, he hated being cooped up in the tent if we weren't in there with him; but if he was outside, he would try to eat dirt and rocks. So I had to carry him everywhere. At 20 pounds, he's quite an extra weight! And while we're at the hotel, it is the same. He is just at the age where he wants to be crawling around all the time, and that makes travel especially hard right now. Anyway, after a long day, I was worn out, and so Hudson and I slept while Jeff took the kids swimming in the pool. Then we all went to bed and slept soundly.

Day 8

We got up around 730am, packed up the room, ate breakfast, and drove about 5 minutes west to see the Manitou Cave Dwellings. This was a super-cool experience. There are these Native American homes, built under the overhang of a cliff, well-preserved and over 700 years old. It was really fun since Hannah and I have talked recently about such things as Indian tribes, tribal cultures, homes, archaeological finds, etc in our home school studies. It was almost magical to see her recognize several of the things we've talked about, and to hear her connect the dots as she could see and even touch the things of which we'd read about in books. This experience made me really glad I'm home schooling this year. It was such a neat experience.

When we left, we decided to try to drive home in one stretch. So we drove for what seemed like forever. We did stop in Tulsa to eat. Then we got in the car again, and drove until about 430am, when we arrived home. We put everyone to bed and slept until about 930am. We had to get the van back to the rental company, and I had mountains of laundry to do!